How not to be a dumb bitch on the holiday in February that will remain unnamed.

So, it’s February, and it’s the middle of winter, time to get wife’d up so you can feel warm and fuzzy with the love that only a significant other can provide, right? Wrong. Get your shit together, it’s time you learned a lesson. I learned at a young age that you can’t love anybody else fully, truly, unless you love yourself and know who you are as a person. So I’m going to start with that.

1. Get It Together:

If you don’t care about yourself, and you are unfulfilled as a person, a relationship WILL NOT fill that void. Ever. So stop thinking that, and fix yourself first.

2. Have Some “Fun”

While you are working on yourself and getting your shit together, there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding people to fulfill your *ahem* needs. Now is the time to fuck around and have fun. Just don’t be that needy ass girl that catches feelings. He doesn’t like you, and you’re supposed to be working on yourself anyway.

(So, this next tip will be assuming that you are working on yourself, and will just help you get through the day.)


I don’t celebrate holidays. Wanna know why? I love myself and treat myself whenever I want, so when these commercial “holidays” come about, I don’t have an inherent need to be included. I have my very own holiday whenever I want, so I don’t need someone to tell me to love myself or the people around me….

4. But, if you MUST celebrate it, and you are alone, here are some tips…

  •   Chill with your homies.
  •   Buy yourself that hot ass dress that you’ve been wanting, and go out!!!! Get dressed and get the fuck out!!
  •  Plan a day just for you, where you do all of the things that make you happy.

(This next block of tips is for people that have an S.O. Already and are looking to celebrate the day)

1. Don’t be cheesy. 

Dudes don’t really wanna celebrate this day, and they’re just doing it to make you happy cause your a sap, so don’t try to make him go overboard. It’s annoying and it’s also sad that you want to celebrate your love on a day that everyone else is doing the same thing…..think about that before you freak out cause homeboy didn’t get you that Michael Kors watch you REALLY wanted. (You basic ass bitch)

2. Don’t be needy.

Don’t try to make this day about you. It’s not about you, it’s about the 6 billion other people that are doing the Exact. Same. Thing. As. You. On. The. Exact. Same. Day. Think about that. Feel original yet?

3. Don’t be basic. Lingerie, chocolate, dinner….its all been done. Your relationship is unique, so do something on this day that is original to your relationship. If you both like Harry Potter, have a marathon, and chill. If you both like the walking dead, dress up like zombies and have a couple day! I can guarantee that if you do something together that you both like, that you’ll have waaaayy more fun on this day than just giving each other some lame ass present, and having some lame ass sex that literally everyone else is having at the same time!!!!! Do you really need a day to tell you that you should give your dude a bj? If so, you basic AF.

4. Do dress for success. 

If you’re like me, you’re always dressed, so this goes without saying….

Remember, this day isn’t about you! So if it’s not magical AF, it doesn’t really matter, at all! Pick another day and TREAT YOSELF.

Till next time, Stay Filthy and remember, Don’t Be a Dumb Bitch.


Stephanie Gold

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